


I'll build you a castle (if you bring me some sand)

by atimi (bertee)



Series: CWRPF: I'll Build You a Castle [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bondage, Dom/sub, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-26
Updated: 2009-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-11 10:00:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/477321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bertee/pseuds/atimi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for spn-j2-xmas for the prompt: <i>Jared/Jensen, established relationship, experimenting with D/s for the first time when neither of them have tried it before. I'd love lots of talking and negotiation about rules and limits and feelings, etc.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll build you a castle (if you bring me some sand)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [latentfunction (keysmash)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/keysmash/gifts).



"Y'know, I wish you were a method actor sometimes."

Puzzled by this pronouncement, Jensen turned to look at where Jared was sprawled across the back seats of Clif's minivan. "Because you wanna see me cry every week at home as well as on set?"

Jared laughed, head resting back against the window. "I would take Dean Winchester crying over you crying any day of the week, man."

Jensen frowned, unsure whether he should be offended. "How come? I don't know if you missed this but me and Dean have the same tear ducts; it's not like I cry acid or something."

"Yes, Jensen, I'm scared of your acidic tears," he said sarcastically. "What the fuck kind of reason is that?"

Jensen opened his mouth, ready to defend his completely valid acidic-tear theory but Jared kept talking before he could get a word in, "I just meant that when you're Dean and you're crying, you get all manly and butch and _"Don't fucking touch me, jackass"_ about it-"

The impression involved lowering his voice and pushing his lips out in a pout, and Jensen protested with a scowl, "Hey!"

"He's not lying," Clif contributed from the front seat. "You do get kinda huffy after Dean's been crying."

Feeling outnumbered, he was prepared to give them both the silent treatment for the five minutes it would take to get the rest of the way home but, figuring it couldn't get any worse, asked before he could stop himself, "How is it different when it's me who's crying?"

"Okay, for one, you cry way less than Dean," Jared said. "I've seen you cry, what, like five times in the past four years? And one of those was during Marley and Me."

"You cried too," Jensen countered loudly enough to ensure Clif heard. "And how is that worse than Dean?"

"Because," Jared began with a plaintive sigh, "when it's you crying, I feel bad about it. I feel like I should be soothing or cuddling or something but when it's Dean, I can make fun of you for it."

" _Soothing and cuddling_?"

"Soothing and cuddling. I soothe while I cuddle." He twitched his nose. "Or I cuddle while I soothe. Whatever."

"When have you ever soothed or cuddled me?"

"Last September," Jared answered with surprising precision. "You were sick and sniffly and you started crying-"

"I sneezed! My eyes were watering-"

"And then you cuddled up to me on the couch until you fell asleep," he concluded proudly.

"I wasn't cuddling up t-"

"Anyway," Jared interrupted in his I-have-made-my-point-and-am-moving-on voice, "I was saying that I wanted you to be a method actor because of the clothes."

Jensen looked down at his clothes. Aside from the white stain on his jeans (which was clearly mayo and not, as Misha had suggested, 'rogue ejaculate') and the fact that his hoodie had probably been Jared's at some point, he didn't see any major problems and queried, "What's wrong with my clothes?"

"Nothing," Jared assured before rethinking. "Well, that's my sweater but nothing apart from that. It's just that if you were into the method thing, you'd wear your suit and tie out of work too." He beamed. "And I'd get to have sex with you while you were wearing it."

Opting to skip over Jared's fixation with his costumes - the less said about that coach outfit the better - he pointed out, "Yeah, but if I was into the method thing, I'd treat you like my brother in real life and then we wouldn't be able to have any kind of sex."

"Good point well made," Jared conceded gracefully. "Although there's always incest-"

"No," Clif cut in gruffly. "No incest debates. Get out of the car and talk about this shit in the privacy of your own home."

Looking past Jared out of the window, Jensen sat up when he realized they were already outside the house. He made it out of the car door before Jared clambered over the seats and narrowly avoided being kicked in the face by Jared's flailing legs as he jumped out of the car after him. Clif looked only too relieved to drive away again and Jensen waved as he left, enjoying the fact that, due to them shooting on indoor sets for almost the whole episode, they got to come home before the sun went down in the evening.

He smiled at the feel of Jared's hand on the back of his neck as they wandered up to the front door together and leaned in to kiss him on the lips once they'd reached the door. 

He was pretty sure Jared had been snacking on fruit roll-ups that afternoon and rolled his eyes when Jared pulled away and complained, "You taste of salad."

"Could taste of maple syrup," Jensen returned with a smirk. "If I was a method actor, I'd be on the Master Cleanse right about now."

Jared's thumbs hooked through the belt loops at the side of his jeans and his fingers spread over his ass, squeezing lightly. "I take it back. No method acting for you." His bright smile darkened to something more suggestive as he whispered against his neck, "I can think of way better things to do with maple syrup."

"I bet you can."

His eyes fell closed as Jared licked a stripe up the side of his neck but they flew open again when the sound of barking rose up from inside the house. Sobering at the reminder of home and the dogs and the conversation they needed to have that evening, Jensen stepped back and readied himself as Jared slid the key in the lock with the question, "You take the beer, I'll take the dogs?"

"On three," Jensen agreed, counting down. "One... two... thr-"

He was cut off by the chorus of joyful barks which greeted them as the door swung open. He made a dash to the kitchen, skirting the pair of giant dogs leaping up to lick as much of Jared as they could and the smaller but no less enthusiastic Icarus who contented himself with jumping happily between Jared's feet. Savoring his moment of freedom, Jensen retrieved and opened two beers before toeing his shoes off and heading out to the den once the frantic barking seemed to have decreased.

By the time he made it to the couch, Jared was covered in a large blanket of sandy-colored dogs as Sadie lounged possessively across his lap and Harley rested over his feet, guarding them against any predators who specialized in stealing freakishly long toes. Icarus eyed him pitingly while Jensen sank to a seat on the couch after passing one of the beers to Jared, but he hopped up onto the cushions and nestled his little fluffy body in Jensen's lap in compensation for his lack of a huge manly dog of his own.

There was a long moment of silence, punctuated only by the panting of the dogs and Jared's satisfied groan when he took his first swig of beer. 

Jensen shared his sentiments but didn't vocalize them, occupied with turning over that morning's decision in his mind and wondering whether he could yet again chicken out of the impending conversation and distract Jared with bad reality TV instead. 

The silence was waiting to be filled, however, and Jensen decided to bite the bullet; talking to Jared had to be better than suffering through a whole evening of the _So You Think You Can Dance?_ reruns Jared had TIVO'd.

Setting his beer down on a side table with numb fingers, Jensen looked nervously at Jared as he spoke up, "We need to talk."

He only realized how serious he sounded when Jared's eyes widened and he asked, worried, "Is everything okay? Are you dying? Are you breaking up with me?" His irrational panic kicked up a notch. "Are you breaking up with me because you're dying?"

"No!" Jensen answered quickly before Jared induced his own heart attack. "No-one's dying and no-one's breaking up with anyone." The 'I hope' was added on in his head; he really didn't want this conversation to be a reason for their three-year relationship to come to an end. "I just need to talk to you about something."

Jared looked suspicious but less terrified now. "Are you going to ask me to marry you? Because I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

"Jesus- No, Jared," he stressed, "I'm not going to propose to you."

"Oh."

"Now would you shut up and let me talk rather than trying to predict what I'm going to say?"

"Sorry," Jared apologized. Any doubts Jensen had about his contrition were removed when he jostled a displeased Sadie off his lap and onto the floor as he turned to face Jensen, tucking his legs up underneath himself in a way that Jensen didn't think could possibly be comfortable. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Suddenly everything seemed far too serious and Jensen swallowed around the lump in his throat, weighing up the merits of cracking a joke and pretending like he had nothing important to say. Jared's eyes stayed fixed on him, friendly but solemn, and it was the lack of expectation there which sealed the deal.

"Sex," he admitted quietly, trying to stop his hands from shaking as he scratched behind Icarus' ears. He kept talking before Jared could jump in with suggestions about scented candles, flavored lube, or little blue pills, "And before you start panicking, this isn't about you being bad in bed or doing anything wrong, okay? The sex is great. I just- I want to try some new things." Jared raised his eyebrows and Jensen backtracked hastily, "But only if you want to. If you don't, that's fine, it doesn't-"

"What kind of things are we talking about here?" he interrupted and Jensen searched his face again, relieved that his expression was more intrigued than apprehensive. "I'm not saying I'm up for _anything_ but it's been, what, nearly three years. You don't have to be so worried about talking to me about this stuff."

It was true - of the two of them, Jensen knew Jared had always been more easy-going about sex - but somehow that knowledge didn't go very far in eliminating the fear that Jared would up and leave him when this conversation was over. Doing his best not to show that, Jensen nodded. "I know that. I do, it's just-"

"You're insanely neurotic," Jared finished with a lazy smile and Jensen felt himself relax a little at the teasing. "What did you want to ask, man?"

Icarus scampered off Jensen's lap when he changed position to turn his attention fully to Jared as he asked, "You have to hear me out, okay? I'm not good at explaining things."

"No shit. I remember you trying to tell me how to put up the shelves in the bedroom."

Jensen smiled, letting Jared pull one of his feet into his lap and trace patterns on his bare ankle with his thumbs. Jared's eyes stayed on him, however, and he began to talk, offering a halting explanation, "You know how you can get kinda controlling in bed? I don't mean in a bad way, just in how you tell me to do things sometimes." 

Jared looked confused and he went for a more specific example. "Like last Sunday." The crease between Jared's eyebrows smoothed out in comprehension but Jensen recapped anyway, "You pinned my wrists down. You kept telling me to spread wider or to move slower, and you wanted to see if I could hold out on coming until you were ready."

"But you liked that, right? We built up to that - I wasn't making you do anything-"

"No, no, I liked it," he promised. "I really liked it." He ran a hand through his hair, full of nervous energy. "I think I like that whole thing. Y'know, giving up control, doing what I'm told, being held down..." He shrugged with faked casualness but curled his fingers against his palms to stop them shaking as he admitted, "I like being good for you, Jared."

Jared said nothing, shifting position slightly but staying focused, clearly waiting for him to continue.

Taking that as a positive sign, Jensen summoned the courage to finally bring up the main point of the discussion. "I thought that we could maybe try doing more," he suggested carefully. "I looked some things up on the internet and I figured we could give it a shot if you wanted to. Not that you have to," he added, his nerves re-emerging. "I like what we're doing now but it was just an idea-"

"Wait," Jared said, frowning, and Jensen's voice caught in his throat, terror sparking down his spine at the thought that this was it, that Jared would freak out and leave, that everything they'd built up between them would start to crack and crumble because of one fucking stupid suggestion. 

"What are you asking me to do exactly?" Jared asked, suspicion coloring his tone. "You want me to do that all the time? To tell you what to do all day?"

"No!" Jensen corrected hurriedly. "No. God, no. Christ, I suck at explanations."

"You really do," Jared agreed, but the smile on his lips was enough to break some of the tension that had filled the room. "So you don't want me to boss you around all the time?"

"No," Jensen reiterated, deciding to use fewer words. "Just in bed. Sometimes. If you want to."

"Ah." Jared lifted his other foot into his lap and Jensen bit his lip at the calming feel of Jared's big, warm hands settling over his ankles. "So you want me to be your Dom?" he asked softly before adding with a grin, "Sometimes. If I want to."

Wide-eyed, Jensen was still too stuck on Jared's knowledge of the term to get offended at the teasing. "You know about that? How- Did you and Sandy..."

"We never did anything like that," Jared filled in. "Everything I know, I learned from porn. I haven't actually done anything like that."

The fact that Jared at least had some interest in this kind of porn was motivation enough for Jensen to ask again, still slightly terrified, "Would you _want_ to do anything like that?"

"We'd have to do it right," he pondered, fingers tapping a staccato beat on Jensen's ankle. "Read up on it and set ground rules and shit; I don't want to end up fucking things up and making you do something you don't want to do." Jensen was ready to reassure him that it wouldn't come to that and that of course they'd talk more about it first, but the assurances proved unnecessary when Jared shrugged and flashed him a wide, genuine grin. "But it sounds good to me."

Jensen was fifty percent sure that he was hallucinating and that the conversation he'd been dreading all day did not just go that smoothly. "You sure?"

That percent plummeted to zero as Jared leaned in to kiss him, warm and beer-flavored and - yes, he would admit it - fucking _soothing_. "I'm sure," he promised, whispering it against the corner of Jensen's lips as he moved to kiss along his jaw. "Let's give it a shot."

  
**+++**   


Five days later, Jensen figured out that Jared's version of "giving it a shot" was a lot like Kripke's version of "of course you can go swim with sharks on your vacation, Jensen"; both of them involved a lot of paperwork.

Unlike Kripke's lawyer-mandated waivers, however, Jared's paperwork was fairly easy to understand. 

As part of his terrifyingly in-depth preparations for what Jensen had previously thought was pretty simple, Jared had gone into research mode. This was reassuring, in that Jensen knew Jared was on-board with the idea and was happy making it into a project, but it was a little disappointing at the same time, since Jared had spent the last four nights Googling sex instead of actually having sex. 

Therefore, as they sat on separate couches meticulously checking little boxes, Jensen was relieved that the survey Jared had found at least meant they got to spend time in the same room. 

In theory, the survey was pretty basic. Each column had some kind of activity on the left and then three tick-boxes for "Yes", "Maybe", or "No", with a little space beside to add comments if necessary. The first few had been obvious - yes, he would very much like to have anal and oral sex in the future - and most of the first column had been answerable but as he went down the second column, Jensen was beginning to get confused about what half of the activities were, let alone whether he wanted them done to him or not.

It had occurred to him to tick "No" for all the things he hadn't heard of but he was concerned that one of them might turn out to be Jared's favoritest bedroom activity ever and didn't want to inadvertently deprive them both of something which could prove to be fun. 

Pursing his lips, he tapped his pen on the paper and was trying to work out whether 'sounding' involved some kind of musical-instrument-related sex when he heard Jared ask from across the den, "What the shit is _figging_?"

Pleased to find out Jared was as clueless as he was, Jensen chuckled and shrugged. "I have no fucking idea, dude."

Jared scrunched his nose up and stared at the paper for a moment longer before shaking his head. "Can we give up now? Let's just assume that neither of us wants to do anything from the bottom of the second column."

"Deal," Jensen agreed gladly. "Where did you even find these lists? I mean, I've watched a lot of porn and I don't know what half this stuff is."

"The internet," Jared replied, clambering off his own couch and coming to wedge himself in behind Jensen, list still clutched in his hand.

"You trying to copy me, Padalecki?" he asked with mock offense, hiding his own list against his knees. "Cheat."

He could almost feel Jared's grin as he pulled him back against him, his chin on Jensen's shoulder and his hair tickling his cheek. "You caught me. If it helps, you're way cuter than the girl I used to cheat off of in trig class." He sighed wistfully. "Amanda Redman. We dated for like two weekends in high school before she left me for one of the AV club guys. She used to wear this awesome cherry lipgloss..."

"Wow, I didn't know it could be so fun to hear you reminisce about your exes while I'm holding a damn sex quiz," Jensen said sarcastically but softened when Jared laughed and kissed his neck. 

"Sorry," he apologized. "You have my full attention. Please tell me all of your sexual preferences. In detail. With diagrams."

Jensen elbowed him in the ribs, shifting against him until their quizzes could be propped up across their laps for them to compare answers. "No making fun of me," he warned, cloaking his genuine nervousness with a more relaxed voice.

Jared kissed him again and he was relieved to hear the sincerity in his voice as he answered, "I won't. That's not what this is about."

"What is it about?"

"Well," Jared began, peering over Jensen's shoulder, "for starters, it's about me finding out that you're a-okay with me fucking you and sucking you off."

"Because you had no clue I liked that?"

"Nope," Jared lied, curling his hand around Jensen's side and giving him a fond squeeze. "It's all new to me."

He fell quiet for a moment and Jensen listened to the rhythm of his breathing as he joined him in scanning over their two answer sheets and making comparisons. 

"So we've got a lot in common," Jared said thoughtfully. "Aside from the sex, our "Yes" lists are almost the same." He paused, pointing at a note on Jensen's list. "You put cameras on the "No" list? You look good on film, dude; hell, I've seen you looking all fucking perfect in 3D."

"You don't look bad yourself," he returned before answering honestly, " but it's not that. I just- I don't want this getting out, y'know? I know we're not exactly Paris Hilton but I don't want to risk anything getting leaked. You get that, right?"

"Yeah," Jared reassured, "yeah, I get it. No pictures or videos or anything else incriminating." He hesitated again, looking at Jensen's list. "Wait, you're saying no to pictures but maybe to sex in public? How does that work?"

Jensen elbowed him again. "It's not like I want us to fuck in the middle of Vancouver-"

"Hell, no. My balls were not designed to be ice cubes," Jared chimed in and Jensen laughed.

"I just meant I wasn't opposed to semi-public sex," he explained. "Like having sex in our trailers all the time and you grabbing my ass on set. Y'know, normal stuff."

"Ah." Jared nodded against his shoulder. "That makes sense."

Jensen thought he should really be more embarrassed about having every one of his kinks laid out in neat little tick-boxes for Jared's perusal but with Jared's legs hooked through his and his hands resting on Jensen's belly, he was surprised by how little he was cringing in shame. Awkward situations were evidently avoided by conducting conversations while he was wrapped up in Jared's octopus-like limbs.

His mind took off on a brief tangent and he made a mental note to get hold of a copy of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus for the next time they got high together before he turned his attention back to the task at hand and went down Jared's "No" list, pleased to see that 'tentacle-play' was given a resounding no.

However, he frowned when he saw another of Jared's dislikes and pointed to it with the confused question, "Why are gags in the "No" category? You said you're okay with tying me up and I know I've had things in my mouth before." He could predict the response before it came and pre-empted, "And not your dick. Other things. I think I was eating marshmallows once."

He felt Jared shudder with a melodramatic noise of disgust. "Never again, man. Watching you chew marshmallows is pretty much a boner killer."

Jensen couldn't remember where the marshmallows had even come from and so decided not to press the argument, relegating marshmallows to a post-sex snack in future. "Okay, so no marshmallows. What's wrong with gags?"

"Nothing," Jared assured. "I know you ticked yes and I'm down with bringing them in at some point but not right away." He shrugged and his voice got quieter as he confessed, "I don't know what I'm doing yet. I researched and I know some of it but... I need you to be able to speak, man. You need to be able to tell me if I'm fucking something up or if I'm hurting you or if you don't wanna do something. So yeah, no gags yet. That okay with you?"

He sounded like he was worried that Jensen would actually say no. 

"That's fine," he said hurriedly, reaching down to squeeze Jared's thigh in wordless reassurance. "I said no to being blindfolded for the same reason - I want to be able to see what's happening, at least for the first time we do something like this. Being careful sounds good. Hey," he added as a thought occurred, "do we need to pick safewords?"

"That was next on my To Do list," Jared admitted. "I figure we're not gonna be doing anything too extreme until we decide whether this whole thing works for us, so if you say no to anything, I'll take that as a real no." He scratched the back of his neck. "We should pick a safeword anyway though. Just in case."

"Safeword?" Jensen suggested.

"Seriously?" Jared asked with a grin. "I bet you set your computer password as 'password', don't you?"

"Fuck you."

Jared laughed again but shuffled around on the couch so that Jensen was next to him instead of in front of him. "We could use 'red'? It's kinda basic but it works."

"I thought it was supposed to be something we wouldn't normally say," Jensen pointed out. "Red doesn't seem like it would work that well, especially when you talk about my face going red all the time."

Jared sniggered. "Your face does go red all the time. As soon as I say something about your ass, you go from normal to lobster in like 0.5 seconds."

"You sweat like a motherfucker," Jensen retorted playfully. "You don't see me mentioning it every two minutes during sex."

"Fine, fine," he relented. "Not 'red'. Not 'sweat' either, I guess. Um, platypus?" he offered, smiling. "Tortoise, Gummi bear, Kripke, Corvette-"

"Corvette," Jensen decided. "I can't see either of us talking about your car during sex."

"Corvette it is," Jared finished. 

There was a moment's pause. Just as Jensen started to panic that reality had set in for Jared and that he was going to back out of everything, Jared said, impressed, "I think that was the most efficient discussion we ever had." 

Sliding an arm around his shoulders, he leaned back, pulling the papers from Jensen's hands and reaching for the remote as he pondered, "Maybe we should do everything with tick-boxes. Next time we're trying to decide where to go on vacation or how much chocolate milk to buy, I'm just gonna draw you some tick-boxes and go from there."

"Hilarious," Jensen shot back, propping his feet up on the coffee table and snagging the remote from Jared's lap. "Are we done with your paperwork now?"

"Yup." Jared shuffled their papers, newscaster-style, before putting them on the table and resting his feet up next to Jensen's. "I am finished discussing my sexual perversions and am ready to watch some football."

Flicking the TV on, Jensen settled back on the couch with the order, "You're getting the beer."

Jared's grousing was par for the course and Jensen bumped his ass with his bare foot as Jared climbed over his legs to get to the kitchen. He heard the dogs yap at Jared's approach and stared blankly at the television, slightly stunned to realize that aside from the conversation they'd just had, the day was almost identical to every other Sunday afternoon they had off.

Jared came padding back into the den, handing Jensen a beer before crashing down on the couch with one of his own and making himself comfortable.

Nudging Jared's feet off his leg, Jensen settled down and tried to hide his relief that nothing seemed to have changed drastically between them.

  


**+++**  


According to long-standing tradition, Sunday night was for slow, earnest, come-so-hard-you-nearly-black-out sex and so Jensen dutifully waited until Tuesday when they both got off work at the same time to start experimenting with something a little less vanilla.

It wasn't until they were both standing naked on opposite sides of their bed that he realized that neither of them had any real idea how to begin the experiment in question.

Jared rubbed behind his ear and stared at the bed. "So, uh, what do we do now?"

Jensen wasn't an expert but he was pretty sure sex was involved at some point. "Whatever you wanna do," he said with an uncertain smile, forcing himself to calm down. "Where do you want me?"

Jared nodded, clearing his throat and squaring his shoulders as he instructed, "Come here."

Unsure about the details, Jensen went for the most efficient option and crawled across the bed, keeping his movements slow and sultry and sitting back on his heels when he was in front of Jared. 

Jared's hand came to rest on his cheek and Jensen swallowed hard as his chin was lifted carefully. 

"Keep your hands behind your back," Jared murmured, lips only inches from Jensen's. He closed that distance as Jensen clasped his own wrists behind his back, and pressed a tantalizingly soft kiss to his mouth. 

Jensen's eyes fluttered closed at the warmth of Jared's hand cupping his cheek and he leaned into the kiss but whimpered in complaint when Jared backed off a little, controlling the kiss and preventing Jensen from getting the intensity he was after. His tongue darted out to lick lightly at the barrier of Jensen's lips, teasing and tempting but not sliding inside, even when he knelt up in an attempt to increase the contact. 

He felt his dick start to stiffen, the relaxing thrum of surrender beginning to flow through him, and he let Jared tilt his head to whatever angle he wanted, still avoiding a deep kiss in favor of apparently driving Jensen crazy with the maddeningly light touches. His lips were slick and wet from the kiss and he parted them as he pulled in a breath, a wordless plea for Jared to kiss him again, deeper and harder. 

He wasn't that surprised when Jared pulled away but he still felt the loss sharply, licking his own lips as he opened his eyes in expectation of further instructions.

Jared's face was flushed and Jensen held back a crack about him being the one who had red cheeks for once, not wanting to throw Jared out of whatever rhythm he'd got into. 

Jared's chest was right there, waiting to be kissed, licked, or whatever else he had in mind; his dick was at half-mast and ready to be coaxed to full hardness by Jensen's mouth or hands; the whole bed stretched out behind him, a comfortable playground for whatever games Jared wanted to play; and so Jensen frowned in confusion when Jared stared at his surroundings with a lost look on his face.

"Jared?" he asked tentatively, not wanting to break him out of the scene. "What now?"

Jared blinked and stammered, "Oh, uh-" He looked down and said what was clearly the first thing that came to mind, "Suck my cock."

Satisfied, Jensen inched forward on his knees, keeping his hands behind his back and bending to take the head of Jared's dick into his mouth but let out a muffled noise of surprise when Jared stepped to the side, bumping his cock against the roof of Jensen's mouth and narrowly avoiding getting bitten by accident. 

Wiping the drool from his mouth, Jensen sat back on his heels and raised his eyebrows when he saw Jared consulting a sheet of paper.

"Seriously?" he asked, not bothering to hide his disbelief now that the moment had well and truly passed. "You seriously made notes about what to do?"

Jared sighed and Jensen did his best to look at his face and not at the cock bobbing just below his eye line. "It was for emergencies," he defended. "You know I forget things whenever you start sucking me off. Hell, I forget my own name most of the time your mouth's on me."

He looked despondent and Jensen flopped back against the pillows as Jared sat on the end of the bed. "This isn't going to work, is it?"

"It could," Jared promised, dropping his head guiltily. "It's a good idea and you know I'm okay with it; I-" He stared at his hands and Jensen watched his fingers curl and twitch in anxious shapes. "I'm sorry, man."

Jensen couldn't handle Jared's apologetic face at the best of times and definitely not when they were both naked in bed together. 

"It doesn't matter," he reassured, sitting up and trying not to show any emotion other than sympathetic understanding. "We can talk about this tomorrow, maybe work out something to make it easier." He shuffled down the bed and rested a hand on his shoulder. "We can try again when we're ready." Letting a smile play on his lips, he nudged his head gently against Jared's with the suggestion, "But since we're already naked, we should probably find something else to occupy our time."

Jared glanced up with a smirk and Jensen leaned in to kiss him, not wasting any time in slipping his tongue inside Jared's mouth now that the playing field was level again. Mouths still locked together, they shifted backwards on the bed and Jensen rocked his hips up as he came to rest against the pillows with Jared's knees either side of his hips. Despite having previously given up for the night, his dick showed renewed interest at this development and Jensen groaned against Jared's lips as their lengths rubbed together with just the right amount of friction to have him chasing more. 

Even with his earlier hesitation, everything seemed to be in full working order for Jared too and after deciding to look into ways of improving the D/s aspect of their sex life tomorrow, Jensen settled in for another night of slow, earnest, come-so-hard-you-nearly-black-out sex. 

It really wasn't much of a hardship.

  
**+++**  


"This is so unfair."

"How is it unfair?" Jensen asked. "You were the one who said we could improve things by talking to people who know what they're doing."

"We could," Jared agreed. "Next time'll be better once I figure out how to actually put together a scene without needing notes and we'll both be happier after we both know what we should aim for."

"So what's the problem?"

Jared fidgeted where he stood before confessing in a rush, "It's not fair, okay? Why do I have to be the one to talk to Jeff?"

"You like Jeff," Jensen pointed out. "You think Jeff is awesome. Last month you told me you wanted to be Jeff when you grew up."

"I was drunk," Jared defended. "But yeah, Jeff is awesome. Just maybe not in the 'Hey, let me tell you about my sex life' way."

"He was the one who got us together," he reminded him. "Anyway, I talk to him almost every month. He's not going to freak out on you."

He watched Jared's expression shift to a defeated pout and said knowingly, "You're not actually pissed about Jeff, are you? You're annoyed because I get to talk to Danneel."

Jared's shoulders slumped and Jensen knew he was right even before Jared complained, "You, who have zero interest in women, get to talk to hot lesbians and I, who have a healthy appreciation for hot lesbians, have to talk to Jeff. In what universe does this make sense?"

"In this universe," Jensen replied calmly. "One, Genevieve and Danneel are supposed to be our friends, not your private porno."

"Come on, man, you know I don't think that," Jared countered honestly. "I'm just sayin', Gen's pretty happy to get a blow-by-blow account of us sometimes and now that I have an actual reason to hear about what she does with Danneel, I do not wanna pass that up. Let us share the slightly creepy wealth, dude."

Jensen rolled his eyes. "And two, Jeff is the only _phoneable_ person we know who has any experience being Dom-like-"

"Genevieve-"

"Is with her mom for the weekend," he finished sternly. "You can't call her at her mom's and ask her for sex advice. Anyway, I know Genevieve and Danneel have played around with this stuff but Jeff has more experience. Go, young grasshopper, learn from your elders."

He made a shooing motion with his hand and Jared sighed. "I don't want to picture Jeff having sex."

Jensen opted not to bring up the sizeable crush on Jeff that he'd nurtured through the first season of Supernatural - three years later it was still a touchy subject with Jared - and settled for a disapproving glare as he ordered, "Go call Jeff. Tell him I said hi."

Jared muttered something under his breath but obeyed, trudging out of the den in search of his cellphone while Jensen pulled his own cell out of his pocket and dialed Danneel's number, resting his elbows against the kitchen counter as he listened to it ring.

He was running through possible approaches in his head when a quiet female voice answered, "Donna Ackles speaking."

"Holy-" 

With his thoughts stuck on kinky sex with his boyfriend, Jensen had a brief heart attack in the five seconds it took for Danneel to burst out laughing and to greet him with the apology, "Sorry, Jensen. It was too easy."

Jensen was still doing his best not to hyperventilate. "I hate you so fucking much right now."

"Aww, baby," Danneel said with fake sympathy before relaxing into the usual questions, "Is everything going okay up there? Is Icky behaving himself?"

Jensen looked across the kitchen to where Icarus was sleeping, lounging on top of Harley and Sadie. "He's great. Pissed on Jared's feet last weekend but I think he thought he was a tree."

Danneel made a noise of understanding. "Easy mistake to make. He does look kind of tree-like."

"Thanks, Danni. It's good to know that I'm dating an Ent."

She laughed, clear and bright even over the phone, and Jensen felt a smile curve across his own face at the familiar sound, forgetting some of his earlier worries about how to talk to her about everything. 

"That would make the sex really uncomfortable," she mused. "I would not want splinters there."

Taking advantage of the segue, Jensen chimed in, "Talking about uncomfortable sex..."

"Oh, smooth, Ackles," she cut in, sounding genuinely impressed. "What awkward sex problem do you have now? Are you trying to convince Jared to have sex in Snuggies? Because that's never going to end well."

"Have you tried it?"

There was a suspicious silence on her end of the line before she cleared her throat. "Moving on..."

"Ha!" He wasn't about to let the opportunity pass by unmocked. "You actually had sex in your Snuggie?"

"No," she defended before admitting, "I had sex under Genevieve's Snuggie and I nearly passed out in the middle of it. That thing is like a furnace."

Jensen pictured his already-sweaty boyfriend in a Snuggie and then tried to shake the image out of his brain. "Noted and filed."

"So what's up?" Danneel asked again and Jensen rested his head in his hand, trying to somehow disguise how red-faced he was despite the fact that she wasn't in the room with him.

"We were hoping you could help us," he began. "Well, help _me_. Me and Jared were thinking about trying something different. Y'know, in bed," he clarified, more embarrassed to be discussing his own sex life than hearing about Danneel's. "Something involving different power dynamics. We did all our research and figured out what kind of things we both like but we, uh-"

"Don't know how to put it into action?" she guessed and Jensen was thankful for the calmness in her voice. "Let me guess, Jared's approaching this like it's a chess game where he's trying to have all possible moves planned out ahead of time, and you're sitting back and waiting for him to take charge because you're too scared to say anything to put him off."

Jensen sighed and cursed Danneel's apparent psychic abilities. "Pretty much, yeah."

"And you're calling me for what? Advice on how to be the very best sub you can be?"

Jensen buried his head in his arms and wondered whether calling his mother would be more or less cringe-making than this conversation. "Yeah," he mumbled, feeling shame crawling under his skin. "I suck at this, Danni. I thought the hard part would be over once I told Jared what I wanted but no, it keeps getting worse."

"Hey," she chided, firm but understanding. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. We tell each other everything, Jensen; I'm not going to start judging you for this. I just think you're over-thinking things, 's all."

"Over-thinking?"

"Yeah." He heard the squeak of her leather couch as she wriggled in her seat and listened to her continue, "You said you were the one who brought this up to Jared, right? Well, think about what you wanted out of this when you told him. I know me and Gen don't do this seriously but I get some of it, y'know? I get why it's so great just to surrender control for a little while, and how hot it can be to have someone tell you what to do and how to do it. I know how amazing it is when they can do whatever they want to you when you're both in that safe little bubble and both know you're going to be getting off on it."

She hesitated and Jensen exhaled, something warm and familiar winding its way up his spine as he murmured, "I get it, Dan."

She sounded hopefully as she asked, "You do? I'm not all that great at explaining this; it's kinda complicated, Jensen."

"I get it," he repeated, calming. "I got it before too, I think."

"You probably did," she agreed quietly. "You just need to relax more. If you remember why you're doing it, you'll look forward to it a lot more and you'll take some of the pressure off Jared to make everything perfect."

"Pressure? I don't-"

"I know you don't mean to," she interrupted, "but I'm guessing it's happening anyway. I'm the one he calls when he's trying to work out what Christmas gifts to buy you, remember? I know how much he worries about getting things right."

Feeling guilty about inadvertently pressuring Jared, Jensen sagged a little in his chair and wondered if his insistence that Jared should talk to Jeff could be counted as pressuring too. It didn't take long to work out that, yes, it probably did and he decided to go try to save Jared from any more awkwardness as soon as possible. 

"Thanks, Danni," he said honestly. "I- You're amazing."

"You know I'm going to remind you of that next time we all go on vacation and me and Genevieve call the best bedroom," she teased. "Instead of you sulking at me, I'm expecting declarations of awesomeness."

"Deal," Jensen promised, intending to fulfill the declarations of awesomeness but still planning on competing in the sprint for the best bedroom. "Thanks again. I owe you one."

"You can buy me a beer next time I'm up there," she replied happily. "Call me and let me know how things work out?"

"I promise." He smiled, relieved he hadn't chickened out of raising the subject. "I should probably go save Jared from talking to Jeff about this. I'll talk to you next week, okay?"

"You got him to call Jeff Morgan?" She snorted. "Way to go, Ackles. Go rescue your boyfriend before he never sleeps with you again."

Suddenly feeling like a terrible person, Jensen got to his feet and headed out of the kitchen with the farewell, "Bye, Danneel."

"Call me next week," she instructed before hanging up and leaving Jensen with a silent phone.

Slipping it into his pocket, he wandered through the house and poked his head around the door of their den to tell Jared that he didn't have to prolong the agony of talking to Jeff any longer. 

However, he kept quiet when he saw that Jared wasn't paying attention to him and was holding his phone to his ear as he hunched over the coffee table and scribbled more notes on a sheet of paper already covered in his messy handwriting.

"Uh-huh. Okay, so what does that do?" he asked, deep in conversation with Jeff on the other end of the line.

Not wanting to interrupt if Jared was finding it helpful, Jensen backed out of the den. He replayed Jared's words, grinning to himself at the interest and enthusiasm in his tone and realizing that his own excitement for everything they had planned was starting to be rekindled.

  
**+++**  


As eager as Jensen was to get down to business, the stars refused to align for him.

After his talk with Jeff, Jared hadn't been able to keep it in his pants and they'd spent the rest of their Wednesday night having lazy sex on the couch. Jared had then taken off for a few days to pimp out _Friday 13th_ to the whole of America, leaving Jensen with the dogs and Clif for company over the weekend.

Jared had returned in time for them to start shooting the next episode - Jensen was convinced Kripke was tempting fate by titling it 'Jump the Shark' - and promptly spent the first day being tied to a table and taunted by ghouls. 

Being the good friend he was, Jensen spent his time off on the first day sitting on said table and contributing to the taunting.

"Hey, you comfortable, man? I know it must be kinda weird being tied up instead of being strangled."

Laughing, Jared wiggled as much as his bonds would allow and Jensen continued, "Y'know, they were thinking about tying you to a chair but since you were gone for like the whole of last week, I made the call and said you'd be okay with the table."

"You'd know," Jared snarked back. "S'not like this is the first time I've been flat on my back on a table with you next to me." His smile became more knowing as he added, "Of course, last time you weren't sitting there eating a donut."

Beaming, Jensen chewed loudly until Jared knocked him with his knee, his expression somewhere between a smirk and a grimace. 

"We should do that again sometime," Jensen pondered aloud. "It was good."

Jared raised his eyebrows. "We nearly broke the coffee table. Plus I got come on the couch right before Chad came to visit."

Jensen shrugged. "It probably made him feel at home."

"Ew." Jared looked infinitely more disgusted at this prospect. "C'mon, man, don't make me think about Chad jizz."

"M'sorry," he apologized sincerely; he didn't want to think about Chad jizz either. Leaning down to kiss him, he then turned back to his donut with the question, "What should I be making you think about?"

"Your jizz," Jared answered without any shame and Jensen made a valiant effort not to choke on the piece of donut he'd just inhaled. Coughing, he saw Jared smile and heard him tease, "Hey, I'd give you the Heimlich but my hands are tied."

Jensen flipped him off and dislodged the donut chunk from his throat before setting the rest of it aside in suspicion. 

"So," Jared began, something flickering in his eyes, "how would you feel about this being you tonight?"

Preoccupied with checking his mouth for drool, Jensen frowned. "What being me?"

"This." He tugged on the ropes in demonstration. "You being the one tied up for hours."

"Hours, huh? What, did your stamina improve by two hundred percent while you were away?"

"Yup," Jared returned easily. "And my recovery time dropped to forty seconds. I'm kinda magic like that." Jensen rolled his eyes and he chuckled, squirming against the table again before asking more seriously, "Are you okay with giving this another shot tonight? I promise I won't use notes this time."

Jensen struggled to keep his grin at a casual level and nodded with a little too much vigour. "Yeah. Yeah, sounds good."

"Awesome." He grinned at him, looking as stupidly pleased as Jensen felt, but then said with surprising confidence, "Don't be wearing any underwear when we leave the set tonight, okay?"

Jensen's eyebrows shot up but he was hustled off the table by one of the set supervisors before he could say anything about Jared's request. The crew busied themselves with final preparations for the scene and he backed out of their way quickly. 

Going over Dean's lines and Dean's motivations in his head as he walked off across the lot, Jensen did his best to focus on the job at hand and not the fact that his dick was already hardening in his jeans.

  
**+++**  


He was pretty sure the bathroom door had never been this terrifying before.

As doors went, it was unremarkable, white-painted wood with some streaky marks at the bottom where Harley had come to investigate before the paint had dried, but somehow it feel like the biggest barrier Jensen had even needed to cross in his life.

He had a decent idea of what was beyond it; their bedroom obviously, plus Jared, plus whatever Jared had come up with for that evening. He'd sent him into the bathroom fifteen minutes earlier with the instructions to clean himself up and do whatever else he needed to do, and then to come back into the bedroom naked if and when he was ready to start.

Jensen had managed the cleaning and the general preparation but was stumbling at the final hurdle of psyching himself up enough to walk out there.

His clothes were folded in a neat pile on the chair by the shower and Jensen turned away from the door to look at himself in the full-length mirror Jared had installed in their bathroom. (Jensen still didn't know why Jared had wanted a full-length mirror but he suspected it had something to do with checking out his own ass in the morning.)

There was nothing out of the ordinary about his reflection, no obvious defect which explained why he had the craving to walk out of the door and into whatever Jared had planned, and Jensen swallowed hard, watching the bob of his Adam's apple in his throat and checking over his body one more time to ensure he'd look appealing enough when he walked out. 

Deciding he was as appealing as he was ever going to be, Jensen squared his shoulders and pulled the door open before he could second-guess himself.

He hadn't been expecting anything too dramatic - he was ready to back out if Jared had rigged up a sex swing over their bed - but he wasn't sure whether he should've been surprised or reassured by the fact that their bedroom looked completely normal. The lights were dim, Jared's usual glass of water was by the bed, and the door was locked to keep the dogs out; the only difference from their usual nightly routine was that Jared wasn't already in bed in his well-worn tee and sweats.

Jared was still standing at the end of the bed and, more importantly, was still dressed. He'd changed out of Sam's wardrobe - fake bloodstains were kind of off-putting during sex - and was now wearing a clean white button down with a pair of dark jeans. He was barefoot with his toes curling nervously against the carpet but Jensen couldn't see any of those nerves when he forced his eyes back up to Jared's calm gaze. 

He felt vulnerable and a little self-conscious at the fact that he was naked while Jared was still clothed, but guessed that was the intention when Jared repeated his instructions from almost a week earlier, "Come here and keep your hands behind your back."

Jensen did as commanded, crossing over to the bed with a mixture of embarrassment and excitement, and held his own wrists behind his back as he tilted his head up to Jared's in wordless expectation of a kiss.

The only touch he got was from Jared's fingers and he sucked in shallow breaths when his head was tilted higher, Jared's eyes raking over his face and then down to his chest and to where his dick was starting to harden between his legs.

"You look good, man," Jared said with a purposeful lick of his lips. "Remind me again why you aren't naked more often?"

Jensen smirked but made no attempt to answer the rhetorical question, content to let Jared look him over at his own pace.

He met his eyes when he was satisfied and ordered simply, "Undress me."

His fingers banded around Jensen's wrists before he could even lift them all the way to the buttons of his shirt and Jensen's breath hitched as Jared moved to pin his arms in place behind his back, bracketing him in the tightness of his embrace as he reiterated, "Keep your hands behind your back. I want you to use your mouth."

His hands were released when he nodded silently and he stepped up close to Jared, not knowing how to start or what the correct etiquette was for trying to unbutton a shirt with his teeth. Jared flashed him an encouraging but cool smile and Jensen leaned in, deciding that trial-and-error seemed like the way to go. 

It took a couple of attempts, his face pressed against Jared's collarbone and his tongue and teeth working at the top button of the shirt, but he got there in the end. There was a rush of victory when it gave way and he dared to drop a soft kiss to the bare skin of Jared's chest that had just been exposed. 

He got into a rhythm in a matter of moments, unhooking the button and then kissing his way down Jared's chest and stomach as he worked his way down the shirt, and he sank to his knees when he couldn't bend at the right angle to work at the buttons. Jared's legs were long and warmth against his body even through the rough denim of the jeans, and Jensen found he'd forgotten about his own nudity until he sat back on his heels, seeing Jared's shirt hanging fully open with small damp patches showing exactly where his mouth had been.

It turned out that Jared was going to help him out a little and he shrugged the shirt off, letting it pool on the floor as he dropped to a seat on the mattress with Jensen still kneeling between his thighs.

Jensen stayed quiet but frowned in confusion when Jared pulled a blue tie out of his pocket and looped it around his neck with a smirk. He tied it carefully, his attention on the tie rather than on Jensen, and Jensen's mouth fell open when he realized it was one of the ties which Dean Smith had worn and which Jared had been obsessing over.

Settling the tie in place on Jensen's bare chest, Jared crooked a finger under his chin and parted his legs wider as he said, "Jeans too, Jensen."

Jensen's cheeks heated up but he shuffled forward on his knees, keeping his hands behind his back as he lowered his face into Jared's crotch. The metal button of his jeans was stiffer than those on his shirt and he could feel Jared's dick hardening through the denim as he struggled to open his pants with just his mouth. 

Spit was smeared over his lips by the time the button popped open and Jensen caught the zipper between his teeth, dragging it down with care as Jared's dick brushed against his nose and cheek - apparently Jensen hadn't been the only one going commando on set that day. 

Jared's cock bobbed against his stomach, thick and heavy, and with his face already buried in his crotch, Jensen couldn't resist licking from its base to its head, eyes raised to gauge Jared's reaction as he took the head into his mouth and flicked over the slit with his tongue.

He smiled around the length in his mouth when he heard Jared groan but a hand tugged on his hair before he could take him deeper and he found himself pulled off as Jared panted for breath and tried to get himself under control. "On the bed," he said firmly, blinking himself out of his daze. "Hands and knees but with your wrists together."

Heart-rate picking up, Jensen obeyed without complaint and crawled into the center of the bed under Jared's watchful gaze. With his knees planted suitably wide, he arched his back and put his wrists together before waiting to see what was coming next.

The mattress dipped beside him and Jensen watched, quietly impressed, as Jared pulled another tie out from under the pillows.

Their headboard wasn't exactly bondage-friendly. Made out of solid wood, it lacked bedposts or any holes for handcuffs to be looped through or rope to be tied around, and so Jensen raised his eyebrows in amazement when he saw that Jared had fastened the red tie underneath the mattress somewhere before pulling it up between the pillows. His hair brushed his cheek as he bound Jensen's wrists, looping the red tie around and tying it in place with clinical touches. 

Somehow that turned Jensen on even more. 

Adjusting position, he leaned on his elbows and lowered himself down to rest on his heels as he waited for Jared's next instruction which came in the form of a sharp slap to the ass.

"Ass in the air, dude," he ordered and Jensen complied, pleased that Jared was sounding more like himself instead of some perfectionist Dom. 

His thighs trembled as he pushed himself up and spread his legs, embarrassed but impossibly aroused as the mattress dipped behind him when Jared settled between his legs. Heis skin prickled under Jared's gaze but he stayed still, gradually feeling the weight lift from his own shoulders as Jared became more confident in his role.

A slick finger trailed down over his tailbone and between his cheeks before circling his hole and Jensen pushed back with a whimper, only to get his ass slapped again. 

"Ah, ah," Jared warned, amused. "Stay still."

"Jared-" Jensen begged but was cut off as Jared tugged lightly on the tie around his neck, not hard enough to choke him but just enough to remind him it was there. 

"Stay still," he repeated, brushing over his hole before pushing in gently. His other hand rested on Jensen's tailbone, holding him in place as he eased two fingers inside slower than Jensen thought possible. 

Unable to do anything but sit there and take it, Jensen closed his eyes and let his world narrow down to the weight of Jared's hand on his back, the silk of the tie around his neck, and the slow, tantalizing movement of Jared's fingers inside him. Jared's hand lifted and he seized the chance to push back against his fingers but couldn't stop a whine from escaping when that hand was removed too and he was left spread, empty, and on display.

"I changed my mind," Jared murmured behind him. "Fuck being naked - you should be like this all the time."

Jensen smiled, tugging half-heartedly on the tie around his wrists as he replied, "That'd go down well. You can go earn money and I'll sit here with my ass in the air all day."

"Works for me," Jared teased before falling quiet as he busied himself with something he couldn't see. 

The silence stretched on a moment too long and Jensen was painfully aware of the cool air on his bare legs and ass, the tie resting along his spine, and his dick curved and hard against his stomach.

The cool air suddenly seemed warm in comparison when something cold was pressed against his lower back. It slid down, leaving a trail of freezing water in its wake, and Jensen's breath felt sharp in his lungs when Jared let the melting ice cube slip down between his cheeks.

"God-"

He clenched helplessly, shivering at the sensation of cold water dripping against his hole and balls but shifted his legs wider apart, not wanting to pull away from Jared but shaking at the insistent press of the ice.

He forced out a breath when the ice cube dropped away but smiled when he heard the familiar crunch of Jared's teeth chomping through the ice. (Ice cubes were apparently too close to food for Jared not to eat them.)

"Y'know," he spoke up, proud that his voice was only trembled a little, "eating ice is supposed to be a sign of sexual frustration."

Jared laughed, low but genuine, and his lips brushed Jensen's inner thigh as he said quietly, "Oh, really? I should do something about that."

The sarcastic retort Jensen was about to offer was snatched away by a gasp as Jared's mouth moved higher, pressing a cold kiss to the vulnerable skin of Jensen's sac before flicking his tongue across his hole. 

Jensen cried out at the sensation, arching his back and offering himself up to Jared's mouth, but trembled at the combination of the licks of Jared's eager tongue and the coldness of the mouth now pushed up against his hole. Jared's arm looped around his hips, pulling him back and making him stretch his arms out, wrists held fast by the tie, and Jensen let him move him into whatever position he wanted, mind slipping away under the tidal wave of pleasure coursing through him as he begged in whimpers and moans for _more_ , _right there_ , _God, please_. 

His dick was hard, so hard that he thought he might come just from Jared holding him down and licking him open, but he gasped into the sheets when Jared pulled back, leaving him aching for a return of the cool-hot pressure against the delicate skin.

"Jared..."

"Shh," Jared instructed, curling a hand around his hip and reaching to tug on the tie until Jensen stilled, relaxing into Jared's control again. "Don't come yet, Jensen." He let go of his hip and Jensen heard the snick of the tube of lube right before Jared eased two of his fingers back inside.

There was another pull on the tie and Jensen arched back further as Jared started to finger him open wider, the tie wrapped around his other hand as he commented casually, "Been wanting to do this for days now, man."

Jensen didn't trust himself to speak, too overwhelmed by the ties around his wrists and neck and Jared's long, skilled fingers working in and out of his body. 

He almost wanted Jared to talk to him differently when they were in this situation, wanted him to call him something else now that he had Jensen tied up and submissive and moaning under him like a goddamn whore, but the fact that Jared was treating him like everything was normal made his cheeks flush with arousal even as his stomach twisted with shame.

He closed his eyes and welcomed the shield of darkness as Jared explained further, voice low and easy as he fucked Jensen open on his fingers, "Ever since you were all Gordon Gekko a couple of weeks back, I knew I wanted to fuck you when you were wearing those fuckin' ties but I never thought you'd let me do this."

He moved on the bed, fingers brushing Jensen's prostate and making him writhe as Jared leaned over to kiss the small of his back. "I wanted this too, y'know. I know it gets you off, know you like being so goddamn obedient for me, but you have no idea what it does to me, Jensen." 

The kisses turned to bites, nipping lightly at the side of his ribs as he murmured, "I feel like I'm your goofy sidekick half the time. I crack jokes, I forget stuff, I fuck around on set, and you're there being all serious and shy and sensible." 

Jensen opened his mouth but Jared continued before he'd even remembered how to form words, "Don't get me wrong, I like it - I wouldn't change any of it - but I love that I get to do this, that I get to see you come apart like this and that it's just for me." He pulled the tie and Jensen tilted his head to the side for Jared to lay a messy kiss on his temple. "No-one else gets to see this," he asserted, possessiveness coming through like a growl. "It's all mine. God..." 

He trailed kisses down Jensen's back, fucking his fingers in deeper as Jensen groaned and bit his lip. "I wanted to bend you over right there on set in the middle of that office. I jerked off during my lunch break thinking about you spread over that desk in the tie and the shirt and bare-assed from the waist down. All I could think of was how you'd be clinging on to that desk and making those fuckin' perfect little noises of yours when I fucked you."

Jensen groaned, clutching at the red tie binding his hands as he rocked back and begged, open, ready, and so hard he could cry, "Please, Jared, please- Fuck me..."

He felt the stretch and the burn as Jared pulled his fingers out, and braced himself for the hands that were about to grip his hips and the cock that was about to slide into his tight ass, but he whined in desperation when nothing happened and he was left painfully empty.

"Please-" 

He was ready to beg as much as Jared wanted but was cut off by Jared's question, "You wanna come, Jensen?"

There weren't enough words for how badly Jensen wanted to come. "Yes, please, yes..."

He ground down against the bedding, craving any kind of friction against his neglected cock, but froze when Jared slapped his ass and chastised, "No. I want you to talk to me first. I told you one of my fantasies so you're gonna tell me one of yours." Jensen could hear his grin as he added, "If it's good enough, I might let you beg to be fucked."

Jensen's breathing hitched in a sob and he pulled helplessly on the tie, not wanting release so much as wanting to confirm his helplessness in this situation. The tie didn't budge and he dropped his head between his arms as Jared's warm breath ghosted over his open and hungry hole. 

"All right," he groaned, trying to stop his thoughts from spiraling away long enough to come up with a fantasy more coherent than _I'm fantasizing about you fucking me through the mattress right now_. "I-" He struggled to think, to remember anything outside of this bed and Jared's infuriatingly talented fingers. "Jared, I-"

"Come on, man," Jared teased, kissing the inside of his thighs. "I know you've got them. What gets you off like nothing else? What did you jerk off to this weekend when you were fucking yourself on your plug and wishing it was my dick?"

Squeezing his eyes shut, Jensen bit down on the inside of his cheek to try to stop himself from coming as he cringed at the accuracy of Jared's words. The answer flew out before he could filter it, his mind leaping from Dean Smith's outfit to an episode filmed a couple of months earlier and his cheeks flamed red as he admitted with a stumbling voice, "I wanted to ride you. I- When you were filming with Genevieve, when Sam had Ruby on his lap, I was so goddamn jealous of her. I watched you on set, saw the way you lifted her up with one fuckin' _hand_ , and I wanted it to be me."

He let out a shuddering breath, words spilling out as he lost all ability to censor himself, "I jerked off in my trailer straight after. I kept thinking about your hands all over me instead of on her, you grabbing my hair and holding me where you wanted and making me ride you on that crappy couch." He squeezed his eyes shut. "That's what I was fantasizing about, okay? Now please, Jared, I told you, please-"

"You did good," Jared assured and Jensen's shoulders sagged with relief. "You want me to fuck you, Jensen?"

"Please..."

He almost sobbed aloud when he felt a renewed pressure against his hole but whimpered when he realized that he'd only been breached by one of Jared's fingers. "Fuck, Jared-"

"Tell me what you want," Jared demanded, the control in his voice wavering. "Ask me for it."

"Your cock," Jensen begged, shame stripped away by need. "Please, just fuck me already, Jared. _Please please please_ -"

His words were cut off by a yelp of surprise when Jared's hands gripped his hips, and his breath left him when he found himself being pulled up and back onto the thickness of Jared's dick, hole stretching around his length as he sheathed himself fully inside him. The sting of discomfort at being forced so wide sublimated into a feeling of satisfied fullness before the complaint could even make it out of his mouth and he shuddered as Jared started to move, balls slapping against his ass but his dick soon finding the right angle to hit his prostate and to send pleasure sparking along Jensen's nerves.

He didn't know what to concentrate on, lost in a barrage of stimulation traveling from his bound wrists, to his knees digging into the mattress, to his hips held by Jared's huge hands, to the breathless, merciless contact with his prostate, to the hot, wet feel of Jared's mouth sucking hickies along the back of his neck. It felt like he was flying and crashing all at once, his whole body moving in time with Jared's thrusts and his hips pushing back wantonly, desperate for more of his hands, his lips, his dick. 

"Fuck, Jen..."

Jared's voice was ragged, control hanging on by a thread, and Jensen didn't have the strength to respond, too far gone to do anything but groan in encouragement as Jared's movements became more erratic, hips snapping with every deep thrust and carrying Jensen willingly along for the ride. Pressure built inside him, filling his whole body with a fiery need, and he gasped out Jared's name like a plea.

Whatever was said, it worked and Jensen moaned aloud when Jared's hand closed around his leaking dick, moving in confident strokes as he ground out, "You can come, Jen."

The friction was all he really needed but the words were enough to light the fuse in seconds. 

He came with shout of pleasure, blood rushing in his ears and heat flooding through his body as he collapsed against the bed, and when another warmth filled him a second later, he knew Jared was right behind him.

  
**+++**  


When Jensen made it out of the bathroom for the second time that evening, it was almost like the sex hadn't happened.

Jared was sprawled in their bed, hair sticking up at odd angles on the pillow and limbs already intruding on Jensen's half of the bed. His usual glass of water, now without ice cubes, stood on the side table and the only light left on was the one on Jensen's side of the bed which helped him see where to go as he padded out of the bathroom in his sweats and clambered gratefully under the comforter.

Immediately, he found himself tucked under Jared's arm and pulled up close as Jared buried his nose in his neck and breathed in. "You smell good."

"I showered," Jensen teased but was reminded of the reason for his shower when his ass throbbed dully as Jared squeezed it. "Smelling good is a side-effect."

"Mmm." Jared still seemed intent on treating him like a life-sized teddy bear as he cuddled him close. "I like it." Jensen heard him swallow before he said more quietly, "I liked tonight too."

Jensen smiled and admitted sheepishly, "Me too." He reached over to click the light off and was grateful for the darkness as he curled up close and whispered against Jared's hair, "Thanks, man."

"You don't need to thank me" Jared said sleepily, pushing his hair out of his face and speaking with sincerity when Jensen rolled his eyes, "Hey, I mean it. As much as you enjoyed that, I can pretty much guarantee that I liked it just as much. It was awesome."

Smiling wider but still kind of embarrassed, Jensen burrowed down into his pillow and turned to rest his back against Jared's chest while letting Jared hook his leg over his lower body. "Good. I- That's good. That it was good," he stammered, uncertain of the best way to describe what had just happened.

Jared apparently didn't share this problem and corrected, "It was more than good," His breath warm and minty against his cheek and Jensen snuggled back into the familiar circle of his arms as Jared continued, "Look, I know how uptight you get sometimes and how much you hate it when I leave something off the grocery list or forget my keys or do something stupid when other people are around, so it means a lot that you trust me with this." 

Jensen tensed up, unsure whether he was being insulted but Jared reassured with surprising sincerity, "You have no idea how cool it is that you trust me enough to do that to you and to get you there. So yeah, it's a little more than good, man."

Jensen wanted to tease him about this unusual brand of pillow-talk but anything he came up with sounded pathetic and weak in the face of Jared's upfront honesty. Settling for honesty in return, he agreed quietly, "It _was_ pretty amazing."

"Hell, yeah." Jared's arm snaked around his side, a warm, solid weight where it rested against his stomach, and Jensen closed his eyes with a yawn as Jared teased, "Plus it was hot."

"Uh-huh." Sleep beckoned and Jensen relaxed into the warmth of the bed and the embrace, beyond relieved that he still had this version of Jared in his bed when all was said and done. His words were slurred and he was on the very edge of sleep as he mumbled, "We should do it again sometime."

"Definitely."

It was too late to stop the slide away from wakefulness but his lips curved up in an exhausted smile as he caught Jared's playful murmur before sleep took them both, "Next time I'm buying toys."


End file.
